A Life Forever Altered
“I prefer to refer to myself as a victim instead of as a survivor because the term ‘victim’ is less traumatic to me. A victim is someone who has their sunglasses stolen, or isn’t repaid by someone who borrows $40, or is hung up on the phone by a rude customer service representative. A ‘survivor’ is someone who could have been killed, but instead survived. The term ‘survivor’ reminds me of how, as I was being assaulted, I thought about how my family would believe that I had a medical emergency and wouldn’t order a rape kit for my dead body. The term ‘survivor’ remind me of how, as I was taken to an operating room and gassed unconscious after my rape, that I believed my life was coming to an end. The term ‘survivor’ reminds me of how I am so grateful to be alive because, as someone who is no longer suicidal, I survived a depression after my assault that was so severe that I was catatonic for months and it was difficult to even walk to the bathroom or brush my hair. If referring to oneself as a ‘survivor’ helps some people regain agency over their lives, then more power to them. But for me personally, the term has too much trauma associated with it to feel positive.”
“Perhaps you have deeply grieved the passing of someone you loved, such as a partner, close friend, pet, or family member. Now imagine that everyone you’ve ever loved, everyone you’ve ever laughed with, ever cuddled with, ever enjoyed a meal with, has suddenly died. That’s the depth of grief I felt as I was being assaulted and thought about how my family wouldn’t know to order a rape kit for my dead body. Because it was as if my whole world was being taken from me.”
“As someone who believed she was being murdered as she was gassed unconscious after her sexual assault, the rage I feel is like that of the ghost of a murder victim. I will never stop speaking the truth and advocating for victims. Anyone who believes otherwise is naive. Trying to intimidate me is like trying to intimidate a soldier who already knows death.”
“When I met my rapist and he planned to assault me, I was wearing a blue hair net and a loose hospital gown, no makeup or nail polish, and laying under a bedsheet on a gurney.
Some modest women cover themselves in a billowing cloud of black fabric that obscures curves like nightfall hiding the beauty of rolling hills. Before my sexual assault, I imagined that such clothing was an effective deterrent for sexual assault. I was so naive. Whatever a woman wears, a man can undress her in his mind.
Men sexually assault women whose curves they’ve never seen, just as restaurant diners order meals they’ve never seen photos of. It doesn’t matter what people have seen, but rather what they can imagine.”
“I have a lot of anger at the adult entertainment industry. While male sexual aggression and rape have existed for millennia, anal rape of women has become far more common since the birth of the internet. I think a lot of men don’t understand how physically damaging anal rape is. My assault did serious damage. One day all 5 inches of my rectum fell completely out of my body when I was using the restroom and I had to push it back in with my hands. Fortunately the type of prolapse I had can be corrected with surgery. However, the surgery carries a risk the patient will need an ostomy bag. Another type of prolapse, in which the rectum prolapses on itself internally, isn’t even surgically correctable. Male sexual aggression is sadly in some ways natural, but the anal rape of women isn’t.”
“I imagine I’m not the only victim of Nathan Hildebrant. If any other victims are considering coming forward, I want them to know that I’m so sorry for what they’ve been through, and that I won’t resent them for not reporting. How could I resent them when I worked so hard to hold Nathan accountable, and the police didn’t even arrest him? I would feel deeply grateful if other victims came forward. Our collective voices have power.”
“OHSU Hillsboro Medical Center concealed evidence while betting on my silence. They bet on something that I do not owe them or anyone at all.”
“Most, if not all, of the executive team at OHSU Hillsboro Medical Center should be replaced. The hospital’s behavior has been literally criminal.”
“It’s difficult to express the extent to which my faith and trust in society has been damaged by my sexual assault case. There were numerous employees at OHSU Hillsboro Medical Center who conspired to conceal evidence supporting my sexual assault allegation, and to falsify records and information contradicting it. Their ability to use twisted logic to justify their actions, their audacity believing they’d get away with it, and their lack of remorse, were pathological. This case is a window into the shocking prevalence of evil among the human race.”
“I’m a victim of OHSU Hillsboro Medical Center corruption. My advice to other victims of corruption who want to sue their offenders would be this: Do not assume that you will be able to find an attorney to help you. Generally speaking, attorneys prefer easy money and simple stories, and the pro bono work attorneys do for victims is largely limited to helping victims obtain restraining orders. Start studying the legal system as soon as you can. Find stories similar to yours for the same jurisdiction on the news, and then go to a law library and download all the records for the lawsuits for those cases and start studying the documents. Do not study legal documents filed by pro se litigants; only study legal documents filed by reputable attorneys. Additionally, read the books published by the state’s “bar” and pay for an online service where you can ask attorneys miscellaneous questions. In addition, hire expert freelancers online to review the evidence for your case as soon as you obtain it so you don’t reach incorrect conclusions.”
“I have a greater ability to advocate for myself as a crime victim than the average person. My strong analytical capabilities, for which I once received a job offer from the FBI for an intelligence analyst position, have helped me understand my sexual assault case. Additionally, my strong reading comprehension has helped me navigate the complex legal system. I also have a rare medical issue, for which there is no name, that is characterized by an elevated hormone level that stimulates neurogenesis. I could not find an attorney to file a lawsuit and subpoena police records for me because my allegations contradicted the hospital’s records, and thus information in police reports. But I used my intelligence and ability to advocate for myself to subpoena the records, hire experts, and figure out what happened. However, to represent myself I had to take stimulants and work about 75 hours a week (40 hours at my job and about 35 hours on my case), for about 6 months until I was laid off. The circumstances of my case make me wonder if corruption like that committed by OHSU Hillsboro Medical Center is rare, or if corruption is common and it’s simply rare for a victim to discover evidence of corruption without legal representation.”
Tiffany cares about autism research. To learn how an elevated level of a particular hormone stimulates the brain to grow and alleviate symptoms of autism, read the paper:
Pimpinella, Domenico & Griguoli, Marilena & Pizzarelli, Rocco & Jacobs, Christian & Tartacca, Alice & Kullolli, Uarda & Monyer, Hannah & Alberini, Cristina. (2024). Insulin-like growth factor 2 (IGF-2) rescues social deficits in NLG3–/y mouse model of ASDs. Frontiers in Cellular Neuroscience. 10.3389/fncel.2023.1332179.
“I’m very concerned about incorrect conclusions the Washington County DA’s Office has made not only in my case, but also in a number of other cases. For example, Allison Brown, the prosecutor for my sexual assault case, prosecuted a man named Robert Atrophs for the murder of his estranged wife. However, a different man, named John Pearson, correctly described how police would find the woman’s body. When the police served a warrant on John ordering him to testify in court, John immediately shot himself in the head. The logical conclusion would be that John killed the woman. However, the DA’s Office said that John shot himself because he was having health problems. Incredibly, the DA’s Office never considered John a suspect. Allison Brown claimed that the husband Robert Atrophs is guilty because, among other reasons, the mud on the woman’s car tires looked like mud from the husband’s home, and the husband contacted police quickly after his wife went missing and kept contacting the police. The husband Robert Atrophs was sentenced to life in prison. The murdered woman’s daughter claims the DA’s Office got this case ‘1000% wrong.’ I feel so sorry for the Atrophs family.”
To learn more about the Robert Atrophs case and the thought process of the DA’s Office, watch this video on CBS news.
“I’m deeply concerned, due to my personal experiences, that incompetence may be widespread among United States law enforcement personnel, but I’d like to acknowledge that there are many competent, hardworking law enforcement personnel who believe and closely listen to victims. I stand in solidarity with these honorable men and women in blue. To these virtous police officers, I want to express my deepest gratitude for your dedication and service. I honor your bravery. Thank you for putting your lives on the line every day to keep our communities safe. Your courage and sacrifices do not go unnoticed. I know that your work puts you at risk of PTSD, and I personally understand how difficult it is to suffer from PTSD. To all these honorable police officers, I appreciate you, I support you, and I thank you for standing between chaos and a bright future for our communities. ”